This Life is For You
by greendaylegacy
Summary: Oke  Matt/Mello Angst-Yaoi-Lemon later -Rape-Death-Drugs ALL THE GOOD STUFF! R&R LOVELIES!
1. Bitches and Hoes

A/N: Hello, my love-ducklings! Ahm, so this is angsty yaoi, and maybe lemony, in later chapters. Matt/Mello Muahaha! R&R Babies!

Axel: For the most part, she's nice. Except when she doesn't buy me Cheetos and kicks me in the shins.  
Me: You secretly have a burning passion for pain that you cannot deny.  
Axel: *grumps in his emo corner*

Me: Ax, will you do the Disclaimer? *makes pouty face*  
Axel: MUST...RESIST….*sighs in defeat* Greendaylegacy does not own Death Note, but she does own my body.  
Me: *blushes madly* ONWARD!

Chapter One: Bitches and Hoes

I leaned back against the wall, cleaning my nails with my hunting knife.  
A nervous henchman approached me, his eyes lowered.  
"Boss."  
I raised an eyebrow, calculating. "Who'd you kill this time?"  
The mobster rubbed the side of his neck, and I slid the knife into the strap holster on my thigh.  
"He's...not dead. Yet. He is, however, riddled with bullets. He claimed to know you, Boss." There was a strange tug in my gut. Who could it possibly be?  
"He's in the quack house." He said, affectionately referring to the infirmary.  
I nodded and dismissed him, striding towards the quack house. The little tug in my gut was more insistent, and I knew some shit was about to hit the proverbial fan  
. Taking a deep breath, I pushed the double doors open. "Boss!" The physician said, jumping up from a chair beside the gurney.  
"Well?" I demanded. "Why are you just sitting there? Show me who it is!" The man gulped.  
"B-but, sir, the man's in surgery right now. All those bullets will do even more harm if left in his body." I rolled my eyes.  
"Where is this all-god-important man? Shit! Just let me see him!"  
The man led me to an occupied surgery room, where I pushed around and through the doctors.  
My heart stopped as I looked down. Tortured green eyes gazed back up at me, and I went numb. This…this was impossible.  
"M-mello?" Matt whined, the pain in his voice evident.  
His red hair was matted with blood, and one of the lenses in his goggles was cracked.  
I dropped to my knees and cradled his face in my hands.  
"Mattie?" I whispered, hardly believing it. "You…you were dead!"  
Matt grinned. "Not dead, Mels. Just sleepin'."  
I laughed brokenly, running my thumb over his bruised cheek.  
He bit his lip when one of the masked doctors searched for his vein with a needle.  
"Boss, you have to leave. He's in a lot of pain." I found my senses again, and stood, nodding.  
Matt's eyes went wide. "Mels?" He whimpered, trying to get up.  
The doctors pushed him down again, and all I could do was stand there.  
"Mello, Mello! Want Mello!" Matt yelled angrily, punching one of the doctors.  
"Boss, leave! He's hysterical because of you!" The man nearest me said. Normally, I would have shot him for demanding I do what he said. But I just left.

-asdfghjk Matt's POV-

It was weird, watching the doctors dig the bullets out of my body. Even weirder that I couldn't feel any of it.  
"Want Mello." I murmured again.  
"You'll see him soon, Matt." One of the doctors said, mopping the blood off my torso and stitching me up. "We're almost done."  
I grumped unhappily. It was bad enough that I'd been shot up, and now the bastards had the nerve to tell me I couldn't see Mello?  
"Blasphemy." I grumbled, my tongue feeling three times its regular size. The doctor tied the last stitch with a flourish.  
"I'll make him come to you. You're not walking for at least another three days."  
I huffed and tried to scratch my butt, becoming irritated when the pain flared, as if echoing the doctors' statement.  
As I lay there waiting, the thoughts and memories of the past festered in my mind.  
Was it still the same between Mello and I? Such thoughts worried me.  
I sat up, ignoring the pain and gritting my teeth. I was not useless, and it pissed me off that I'd been reduced to an ICU _bitch.  
_ Swinging my legs over the edge of the bed, I set my feet on the floor to stand.  
The IV in my arm tugged, and i yanked it out, hissing. Putting my weight on one leg, I unfolded myself and leaned on the machine for support.  
I waited for the flashes of pain to fade, and when they did, I hobbled to the door.  
"Dammit." I growled, my torso aching.  
"Shit, Matt! What the hell are you doing?" Mello caught me before I hit the floor.  
I looked up into his impossibly blue eyes and disgruntled expression.  
"Walking, idiot. What's it look like?" I said, burying my face in his neck. He sighed.  
"Matt, the doctor counted twenty-three bullets in your body. You shouldn't be able to sit up, much less walk." I scoffed.  
"I'm perfectly fine. Seriously. You don't need to worry about me, Mels."  
He raised an eyebrow, looking down at me and my many bandages.  
"Yeah. Okay." He stood and began walking away from that hospital-place with me in his arms.  
"Where have you been, Matt?" He said quietly. I peeked up at him.  
"There was a bounty on my head. I had to take care of it." His eyes flashed.  
"Who made the bounty, and what for?" His voice was rough and angry, and I hid in his neck again.  
"I was doing a job for a friend. Hack into the guys' system, get the floorplan and the passcode to the safe room, and get out. It was the wrong guy to hack, and I learned some things I shouldn't have."  
Mello growled. "That was careless. You shouldn't have done it, it was dangerous, and you could have been-"  
"And being a Russian mob boss isn't dangerous either? I'm not supposed to worry about that?"  
He kicked open a door and walked inside, setting me down on a large bed and rubbing his temples.  
"Dammit, Matt, we're not talking about me." He said, his voice strained.  
"Well, Mello, we sure as hell aren't talking about me. You act like I can't take care of myself."  
With that, I rolled on my side and huffed grumpily, giving Mello my back. I need a cigarette, I thought to myself.

-jhytd Mello's POV-

I ran a hand through my hair, and looked at Matt.  
He'd wrapped himself in my blankets and buried his face in my pillow, giving an irritable 'hmph' now and then.  
Exasperated, I sat in my chair. He was an adorable pain in my ass, I thought, gazing at his tiny figure.  
"Missed you, Mattie." I murmured, scooting the chair up to the bed. He gave a world-ending sigh.  
"I missed you too, Mels." He turned around and looked at me sleepily.  
"Come 'ere." He said, holding his arms out and pouting.  
"You just got out of surgery." I said firmly, shaking my head.  
Matt's eyes widened, and he gave a hurt whimper. "But...I'm COLD!"  
He made a sad, pouty face, and I caved. "Fine. But you have to tell me if I hurt you."  
I kicked off my boots and slid into the blankets behind him.  
Immediately, he curled around me and sighed happily.  
"Spoiled rotten." I murmured, smiling and burying my face in his red hair.  
He giggled and cuddled into my chest. His breathing changed and I knew he was asleep. Pretty soon, I followed him.

A/N: WOOT! CHAPTER ONE IS FINISHED! HUFFAH!

Axel: *snores in my lap, having fallen asleep*

Me: *giggles, whispering* Oke, so this was the cute chapter. Angst shall ensue soon. BTW, SnowKat1996 helped me, even if she did it while being a pain in my left buttock.

Lavi: Nuuu! No make funs of Snokitty!

SnowKat1996: Awe, *huggles*

Me: O.o *runs away with Axel, mortified* AHM TAKIN' A NAP.


	2. Lies

A/N: AWRIGHT! HERE THAR BE ANGST! YOU ALL KNEW MELLO COULDN'T BE CUDDLY FOR LONG!

Axel: You're a terrible manipulator, you know. Hateful.

Me: You're really asking for a kick in the shins.

Axel: TT^TT

Me: Must..resist Axel ….pouty face..GAH! *huggles*

Axel: *evil grin*

Me: Matt, would you partake in disclaiming?

Matt: Eeheehee~ Sadly, Greendaylegacy does NOT own Death note. Thankee for reading!

ANYWAY! Mello is in some shit, Matt has skeletons in the closet, and he has a secret. BIG secret.

Chapter 2: Lies

I woke to the slightest, faintest brush of lips against my temple.

"Mattie." Mello murmured. "Mngh." I heard him chuckle.

"I'm just telling you that I have things to do this morning. Go back to sleep, and I'll be here when you wake again."

I sighed, and fell back into slumber.

-Mello's POV…Get ready for the mindfucking-

I nibbled on my chocolate, bored.  
Nobody ever actually DID anything in these meetings except argue and kill the innocent bystanders.  
Crossing my ankles on the table, I rubbed my temple with one hand, and tapped the table with the end of my gun impatiently.  
I could be with Matt right now.  
"…Where are the Blue Dragons going this month?" I said, causing the rest of the mob heads to go silent.  
"What, the ecstasy? Japan." I nodded.  
"So now that we've cleared that up, is there ANY FUCKING REASON why I'm still with you dickmunchers?"  
I barely contained my irritation when a Mexican boss from L.A. stood up and tried cussing me out.  
"You fuckin'-"  
I sent a bullet through the man's brain, not interested in dealing with the bullshit.  
That pretty much dispersed the crowd. I stood and was stopped by one of the other Russian mob heads.  
"You sure taught that kid." He said, his brown eyes full of humor.  
I, however, was unimpressed. "You wanna learn something today, too?" I growled, pushing past him.  
I just wanted to go home. Four-thirty a.m. was too damn early for a congregation about drug trafficking, and my Matt was waiting for me back at the base.  
"Hey, I just wanted a conversation." He grumbled.  
I decided to humor the man.  
"Okay. How is your life." It was more of a statement than anything.  
"Terrible. My bitch ran away, so now I'm so pissed I could spit fucking babies. When I find that little bitch, I'm gonna tear up his ass, and then I'ma kill him."  
I raised an eyebrow. "Lovely." He nodded.  
"See, he was a good bitch for awhile, he owed a debt for hacking-something-or-other.  
Then he got all defiant, and just ran the fuck off. Damn, he was a good piece of ass, though. Red hair, green eyes, little bitty frame, and such a little slut, too.  
He'd have done anything to get out of that debt, and you bet I took advantage of that, y'know?"  
(A/N: THREE GUESSES :D)  
My hands balled into fists.  
"He was always babbling about some guy he had to get back to, Mihael, I think." The man laughed heartily.  
Faster than light itself, I slammed him against the wall, and shoved the tip of my gun in his mouth.  
"Motherfucker." I whispered, smirking at the horrified look on the man's face.  
"You've no idea how angry you've just made me." He struggled and I crammed my gun deeper in his mouth.  
"Nope. You move any more and I'll blow your fucking head off. Now, take the bounty off his head, and I won't permanently cripple you for life."  
His eyes turned defiant. "Nwoh." He said around the gun.  
I shrugged. "Fine by me."  
Swiftly, I pulled the gun out of his mouth and shot both his knees in.  
The man cried out, and fell to the floor still screaming.  
I turned on my heel and walked into the hallway.  
"Bakura." I said to one of the Japanese heads. "Who was that?"  
The white-haired man thought for a moment. "Jude James." He said in heavily accented English.  
I thanked him and began to take my leave.  
"Mello!" Bakura called. I looked back.  
"Be prepared for some shit. That was a proud man back there, and you just made him look like a bitch."  
I grinned. "Oh, no. He needs to get ready for ME." I waved a farewell and left the building.

-Matt's POV-

"YOU DO WHAT I SAY, OR I BLOW ANOTHER ORIFICE IN YOUR FACE!" I heard Mello roar.  
Sighing, and making a few disgruntled noises as I stood, I walked over to the door.  
I opened it, and was greeted with the sight of Mello brandishing a gun at another weapon-wielding mobster.  
He was furious. His cheeks and the tip of his nose were flushed with anger, and he circled the other man.  
I rubbed my eyes and bit my lip. "Mello." I said softly. He didn't hear me over the yelling of the other man.  
"No, I do what I want, whenever I want! You don't own me!"  
The pain in my stomach was becoming unbearable. "M-mels?" I whimpered, holding my middle.  
I winced when Mello shot the man.  
"Mello!" I whined, leaning on a pillar for support.  
He spun on his heel, surprised. "Matt? What's wrong?" He said, striding over to me and taking me into his arms.  
"My tummy hurts." I said, looking up at him with tears in my eyes.  
The expression on his face was strained. "I'm sorry, Mattie." He said softly, and I buried my face in his neck.  
He smelled like blood, leather, and chocolate. It was a weird mixture, but I was soothed by it.  
Mello walked back to his room, setting me back on his bed. "Don't get up on your own anymore, okay?"  
He said, shaking some of the pills into his hand and holding them out to me.  
"I'll get you whatever you need." I gave him a forlorn look and took the medication.  
"Open your mouth." He commanded. I did so, wrinkling my nose as he checked to make sure I actually swallowed the meds.  
"Oh, don't look at me like that. You are notorious for stashing and tossing your meds."  
I stuck out my tongue and snuggled into the blankets.  
"You know I don't like sitting around and doing nothing. I haven't had a cigarette or played my DS in three days. I think I'ma go nuts."  
Mello smirked and reached into the pocket of his jacket, revealing a black Nintendo DS.  
I squealed and grabbed at it, discovering Pokemon White in the game slot, which in turn made me squeal even more.  
Mello chuckled and poked me in the forehead. "No cigarettes yet. You heal, I'll get you a pack."  
I pouted a little, but soon forgot my misery when I saw the graphics for the new Pokemon game.  
"Ooh." I murmured, delving deep into my gamer mode.  
"Promise you'll stay in bed now?" I nodded, looking at him.  
"Hug me pwease?" I stuck my bottom lip out.  
Mello sighed and wrapped me in his arms.  
"What in the name of tiny Jesus am I gonna do with you?" He said, setting me back into the pillows.  
"Well, you could sell me. But I doubt you'd get much." He facepalmed and I giggled ridiculously.  
"I've gotta do some paperwork." He mumbled from between his fingers, shaking his head as he walked over to the desk and settled into the chair.

-MELLO'S POV FTW!-

It'd been an hour since I'd given Matt the game, and every now and then he'd gasp or squeal, meaning he was happy, or curse, meaning he'd died.  
I was pleased that I'd managed to keep him out of everybody's business; Matt really was curious about anything and everything.  
The work was boring as shit, and I did it with less enthusiasm than I would give watching Cats! on Broadway.  
"It is hotter than hell in here." He grumbled, setting his game aside momentarily to take off his shirt.  
I winced as I saw the bandages, but kept my mouth shut.  
He turned on his stomach and continued playing his game.  
I froze, and eyed his back. Those weren't gunshot wounds, those were whip scars.  
"Matt. What the FUCK are those." I said, indicating the marks on his shoulders and back.  
He peeked back at me. "What are what?" He said innocently.  
I got up, picked him up, and took him over to my body-length mirror.  
I turned him to where he was facing me, gazing at the reflection Matt's back gave.  
"These." I hissed, touching the scars gingerly.  
He looked at himself over his shoulder, and furrowed his eyebrows, avoiding looking into my eyes.  
"I'm sorry." He whispered, so softly I could barely hear it. His shoulders hunched, and i began to stroke his back to calm him.  
"Mattie." I said, taking on a kinder tone. "Why are you apologizing?"  
Quiet sobs shook his tiny frame, and I held him close.  
"B-because I'm _ashamed._" He whimpered into my chest.  
"Tell me who did this to you." I murmured, tracing calming patterns on his back.  
"C-can't, Mello! Not allowed!" His tears made his eyes a vivid, neon green, and my chest tightened.  
"Why, Mattie? Why?" I buried my face in his hair, and kissed the top of his head.  
"Just c-can't. H-he'll punish me again." I picked him up and set him on the dresser, holding his chin up so I could look into his eyes.  
"NOBODY is gonna touch you ever again. I swear on that."  
Matt searched my face, sniffling and gulping back tears.  
"His name was Jude."

A/N: GAH! SO INTENSE! *dies*

Axel: Noes! *begins to slap my face*

Me: *wakes up and reflexively kicks him in the shin*

Axel: Waaahhhh! I was just tryin' to help!

Me: *grins* SO! This was fun. I'ma post this and get writing on the third chapter. Also, SnowKat1996 helped AGAIN. Bless that child. Holler!


	3. Discovery

A/N: AND SO! GODZILLA ATE YOUR MOTHER, AND NOW NOBODY WILL MAKE YOU COOKIES! *scoffs* Dangit…..Innyhoo. Shall Mello go and SLAY Jude's bitch ass? Or shalleth he help Matt first?

SnoKitty: *on piano* Dun dun DUUUUNNN!

Axel: Gay. *rolls his eyes*

SnoKitty: *cries, and runs into Lavi's arms*

Lavi: IIII'm gonna kick somebody's ass! *glares at Axel, tapping his hammer on the ground*

Me: O.O

Axel: *grips Chakrams, and growls softly*

Me: *sits on Axel as he tries to go kick some booty, and SnowKitty does the same to Lavi*

Lavi/Axel: Dangit…..

Read on! The angst has begun!

Chapter 3: Discovery

-Matt's POV-

Was it a good thing that I told him?  
Mello bit the middle finger of his glove and pulled it off, stroking my tears away with his bare thumb.  
"I'll keep you safe, Mattie."  
I gulped and buried my face into his chest.  
Mello picked me up and returned me to the bed.  
He handed me my DS, and kissed my forehead. "I'll be back soon."  
He murmured lightly. "Just relax and play your game, mmkay?"  
I nodded, chewing on my lip. I watched as he left the room, and tried to envelop myself back into the world of Pokemon.

-Mello's POV-

I strode into the Cave, a place where I had four or five computer junkies/hackers working night and day on any kind of technical work that I put upon them.  
Not a single one of them were anywhere near Matt's skill level-I knew that he hacked into the  
government's systems for fun-but I'd take him in to show him the place on a day he was feeling well enough to walk thirty consecutive steps without running into something.  
"Sup Boss?" One of them said, typing away.  
I rubbed my eyes. "Okay. I need you to dig up EVERYTHING in ANY system about a man named Jude James."  
The man in the desk farthest left looked up at me.  
"Jude James, the other Russian crime syndicate?" I nodded.  
"Get going. Tell me if you find anything of worth."  
They nodded, blissfully not asking questions, and got to work.  
I sat in a chair, anxious, and rifled through a pile of papers that needed to be finished.  
"Ah, Boss? I seriously think we'll need more equipment if you want us to get through this firewall." One said.  
"Fuck." Another said, agreeing.  
I rubbed my eyes in irritation, and suddenly had an idea.  
No…Maybe. But only if he wanted to.  
"I'll be back." I stated, nearly sprinting back to my room.  
Opening the door, I stopped to catch my breath.  
Matt looked up at me, surprised. "Where's the fire, Mels?"  
I walked over to the bed and scooped him up.  
Matt squeaked, and clung to me to keep from falling.  
"Gotta...show you somethin'."  
He saved his game and set the DS on the bedside table.  
"Well?" He said, looking up at me excitedly.  
I just smiled and returned to the Cave.  
When I walked back inside, Matt's eyes went wide.  
"Lemme down, lemme down!"  
Grinning, I set him on his feet, and he hobbled over to the computer that the other four hackers were crowded around.  
"What're we lookin' at here?" He said, running a hand through his red hair, and peering at the screen.  
I sat back, convinced that my Matt could get it done.

-Matt's POV-

"Hey, any of you got a cig?" I said, looking to the other men.  
"Yeah, sure." I was handed a cigarette and a lighter, the both of which I put to good use.  
Taking a drag, I inspected the firewall. "Easy." I said, beginning to type.  
The others looked at me in awe as I not only made it through the fire wall, but disabled the security.  
My jaw dropped as I realized who I was hacking.  
Pushing back and shaking my head, I took a huge drag off my cigarette in an attempt to calm myself.  
"M-mello? Why did you let me do that?" I said, pointing a shaking finger at the computer.  
"He'll know it was me! He'll punish me!" Mello stood and blocked my path, catching me in his arms.  
"Mattie, calm." He said, grabbing me by the wrists gently.  
"Matt, look at me. He won't ever touch you again. You're safe here."I shook my head, and shuddered in fear.  
"I'll keep you by my side, at all times, 24/7. You will be safe. I'll take you everywhere with me, Mattie." Mello whispered, so low only I could hear it.  
I sniffled, and he pulled me up and into his arms.  
"Now, the firewall is broken down, get what you can, and get out, got it?" I said, rubbing my eyes and looking to the other hackers.  
They all nodded and got to work.  
I flicked my cigarette into an ashtray and cuddled, shivering, into Mello's chest.  
We returned, yet again, to Mello's room, where he set me on my feet and ran a hand through my hair.  
He cradled my face in his big hands, and gazed at me. "You're mine and nobody else's. No matter what, I'll always come back for you, got it?"  
"Oh, dangit, Mels."  
That went straight to my already frayed emotions, and the waterworks started up again.  
He gave a wicked little grin, and pulled me closer, pressing his lips against mine.  
I sighed, letting my arms wrap around his neck.  
Mello picked me up and lay me on the bed, not once breaking the kiss.  
He pulled me on top of him and wrapped him arms around me, stroking my back and shoulders.  
His hands drifted down to the hem of my shirt and pulled it gingerly over my head, then returned to kiss down my neck.  
"Ah, Mello." I whimpered, tilting my head so he could kiss more of the sensitive skin there.  
He gave a low chuckle as I unzipped his vest to explore his hard, muscled chest with my hands.  
I gave a soft squeal when he bit down on the most sensitized spot, the one just under my collarbone, and sucked gently.  
His fingers fluttered at the hem of the elastic shorts, as if asking, _may I?  
_ At first, I was all but willing, even shifting to make it easier on him, but then I remember the voice that had called and forced me to answer with my body.

_"Come on, little bitch. It's time to play!"  
"Oh, god please no, I hurt so bad from the last time, please."  
"It doesn't fucking matter what you want! I'm gonna have my way with your sweet ass, and that's the end of it!"  
"STOP! PLEASE-AH! NO, __**PLEASE!**_"

I pushed him away, pushed my Mello away.  
"Stop, please." I choked out, hugging my arms around myself.  
"Mattie, what's wrong?" Mello said worriedly, lifting my chin and looking into my eyes.  
I sobbed brokenheartedly, barely able to meet his gaze.  
"You don't want me, I'm dirty, I'm so disgusting." I moaned, pulling away and curling up into a ball at the edge of the bed.  
"Matt, tell me what's wrong!" He insisted, pulling me back into his arms and holding me tightly.  
My sobbing did not cease.  
"I'm a whore, I'm filthy. You DON'T WANT ME!" I screamed.  
Mello just held me; kissing everywhere he could reach on my face.  
My ears, the tip of my nose, my cheeks, my jaw, none of it soothed me.  
He let me hit him, scream at him, curse him, but Mello would not let me out of his arms.  
He rocked back and forth, whispering in my ears that he loved me, that he did, in fact, want me,  
and that I was NOT a fucking whore, Matt, so quit saying that.  
It just hurt so bad, and I was tired of holding it in.  
I wondered how Mello could want _me.  
_ Finally, I was so drained that I just fell asleep like that, in his arms.

-Mello's POV-

Matt had tear streaks on his face, and I kissed them softly, still holding him.  
One of the hackers appeared in the door, looking excited, but I held a finger to my lips, warning him to stay quiet.  
He nodded vigorously, and held up a stack of papers.  
I gestured with my head to the desk, and he crept over to set them down.  
_Close the door._ I mouthed, watching him leave. He did so, and I lay down with Matt still in my arms, wrapping the blanket around the both of us.  
I fell into uneasy slumber.

A/N: Shit! You horndogs thought you were gonna see a lemon, didn'tcha? WRONG! Hahaha. But innyhoo, R&R, because it makes me happy to know what you think!

Axel: You're never happy to know what I think.

Me: That's because you always tell me my ass is too big!

Axel: *scoffs* I did no such thing. I am perfectly comfortable with your disproportionate booty.

Me: D:…..Bye now!


	4. Kiss My Ass

A/N: Yo! So, it's been at least two days since I posted. *dies* I must ask you to forgive me. It is spring break after all.

Axel: That should mean you post MORE.

Me:…

I'm not gonna waste time up here driving you guys nuts, so Axel and I will shut up for now. Ciao!

Axel: Speak for yourself, idiot. You forgot the disclaimer.

Me: *sighs* Idon'townanythingexceptAxel'sbody. Kay! Read now!

Chapter 4: Kiss My Ass

Mello's snoring woke me.  
Looking up at him and frowning a little, I ran a finger over the dark shadows under his eyes.  
Were these because of me?  
I didn't have much time to ponder these troubling thoughts, because right then, Mello opened his eyes, blinking sleepily.  
"Morning, Mels." I murmured, cuddling into him.  
Grinning, he leaned down and gave me a kiss.  
"Feelin' better, Mattie?"  
His blue eyes were foggy as he sat up a little, yawning and rubbing his face.  
I chewed my lip and sighed, closing my eyes and laying back against him.  
"Not really."  
Mello's fingers threaded themselves in my hair, and I made happy panda noises.  
"You know I'm going to fix all of this." He murmured, kissing the top of my head.  
"It still hurts." I whispered back.  
Mello didn't say anything for a moment, and I could practically hear the gears turning in his brilliant mind.  
He just kept running his hands through my hair, humming lightly.  
"I know it won't fix what's already happened," He began carefully.  
"But that bastard sure as hell will be sorry he ever laid his eyes on you."  
I giggled slightly at his seriousness, and opened my eyes to see his expression.  
"What?" I hid my face, and peeked at him through my fingers.  
"Mello, you're such a badass."  
I burst into helpless peals of hee-hees.  
He rolled his eyes and smirked, picking me up and setting me aside so he could go to the bathroom.  
As the joke died down, I went back to the morbid worries that Mello would get hurt for my sake.  
Call it precognition.  
I nibbled my bottom lip and crawled under the blanket, peeking out with only my eyes and the tip of my nose.  
Mello returned from the bathroom and stopped, looking at me and shaking his head.  
"You aren't making being celibate easy on me." He grumbled around his toothbrush.  
"Oh, hush. You aren't celibate. It is simply a period of adjustment."  
I felt bad though. Mello's touches had felt so good last night. I just…couldn't take it yet.  
"Fucking Jude." I cursed under my breath.  
Mello furrowed his eyebrows and spit in the sink, rinsing out his toothbrush and setting it in its place.  
He crawled on the bed and planted a kiss on my neck before resting his forehead against mine.  
"Don't ever think I'm rushing you. Take all the time you need to get over the past."  
I made a face.  
"Don't like making you wait for me." I mumbled, leaning forward and capturing his lips in a tentative kiss.  
Mello chuckled and kissed back, making it deeper before breaking away and licking the tip of my nose.  
"Right now, I'm just focused on getting you better. The rest i can live through."  
There was a knock on the door and Mello stood to answer it.  
I lay back, sighing. Everything would be alright, eventually.

-Mello's POV-

"What is it?" I questioned mildly, peering through the crack in the door.  
"Sir, we have an intruder." The mobster whispered, chewing his pinky nail.  
I took a deep breath.  
"What's the situation?" I demanded, stepping through the door and shutting it.  
"Hard to say. All we've found are bodies. The Cave is trying to locate where he is in the base,  
but they're saying whoever it is knows where the cameras are, and are dismembering them before they can get a profile."  
I cursed.  
"Put everyone on high alert. Don't make a fuss, but make sure everyone is in a group of at least four. Got it?"  
He nodded, and gave me a look. "Boss, you know what they're after, don't you?"  
I looked back at my room, and nodded. "Put heavy guard around the Cave. If that fucker figures out what we've been doing…."  
I bit my lip and sent him away with a flick of my hand.  
"Get going. We don't have much time."  
The man sprinted down the hallway, and I might as well have kicked the door down to my room.  
"Mello! Scared the shit outta me!" Matt gasped, caught in the act of wiggling into a pair of pants.  
I took at least four deep breaths to calm myself this time.  
"Matt. Finished getting dressed." I said, throwing a shirt at him.  
He caught it and slipped it on, his face still confused as his head popped through the hole.  
"Mello, you have to tell me what's wrong!" He watched worriedly as I loaded my gun and put some clothes on myself.  
Strapping my knife holster to my leg, I looked up at him and smirked.  
"It's nothing you need to worry about, Mattie. Just someone sneaking around where they shouldn't be."  
He put his hands on his hips. "Liar." He said, frowning.  
I slid my gun in the front of my leather pants and ran my hand through his hair.  
"Seriously. Don't worry about it."  
I pushed him out the door and didn't let him more than an inch away from me.  
"But you're worried." He grumped, taking the gun I handed him.  
"See? Point proven. You know that even after all those years you tried to teach me how to handle a gun, I'm still more likely to shoot myself in the foot than at any enemy."  
I grasped his chin in my hand and kissed him. Hard.  
"No more questions, please?" I said, pushing him forward and watching intently.  
It was true that I was worried. I knew damn well why we had an intruder, but I didn't need Matt freaking out right now.  
He already suspected that something was wrong.  
I searched the halls, my finger on the trigger of my gun.  
Matt had taken the hint to shut up, and I hated to be so harsh to him, but this was his life we were talking about here.

-? POV-

"Matt is practically glued to the Mob Boss's hip.  
There is no damn way we're going to be able to take him without Mello killing us first.  
We've got to figure out a way to get that redheaded little bitch away from his guard dog."

A/N: Have you pissed yourself yet? MUAHAHAHA! Damn, I'm so good.

Axel: She actually wrote this…without ANY coffee. I think I might kill Betty White.

Me: NO! NOT BETTY WHITE!

Axel: Yes. Betty White. *cackles evilly*

AND SO! I SHALL TRY NOT TO MAKE YOU SUFFER TOO LONG! BUT FOR NOW, I MUST BID THEE FAREWELL, DEAR READERS! G'BYE!


	5. The Mistakes of a Fallen Warrior

A/N: WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME MY STORY FORMAT MADE YOUR EYEBALLS FALL OUT! NOW I FEEL BAD! But, now it is fixed, and I am a happy panda. ^^ Also, there will be no more fluffy chapter-endings. I will leave you hanging, like a good writer should. Forgive me for making your heads hurt! I swear, my insurance covers it!

Axel: You make my head hurt regardless.

Me: Oh, you're hateful.

Axel: Damn skippy. You love it.

Me: Can't argue with that. Disclaim, please?

Axel: *huffs* Greendaylegacy does not own Death Note….

Me: Thank ewe, darling. NOW! WE COMMENCE THE ANGST! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Chapter 5: The Mistakes of a Fallen Warrior

"Mello?" I whispered softly, peeking back at him.

His eyes flickered to mine, and I bit my bottom lip.

"Mhm?"

"Where are we going?"

Mello just shook his head and kept his hand on my back.

"Just keep going."

I shut my mouth and tried to calm my jittery nerves.

If Mello was nervous, then I was nervous.

If Mello was nervous…then things were bad.

He kept his gun trained on the walls and corners.

I didn't like him when he was like this. He was….cold.

"Mello!" Someone called out.

Mello pulled me into him, and aimed at the upcoming corner.

"You have ten seconds to identify yourself, or else I start shooting." He growled.

A woman stepped out, holding her hands up.

"It's just me Mello. You know, Aleckai?" There was a slight Russian lilt to her words.

Mello nodded, his eyes flickering down to me before returning to the woman.

I peered at her over Mello's arm.

She had long, flowing black hair and green eyes, with strong features accompanied by a dark skin tone.

There were harsh red wounds on her face and neck, but she seemed unfazed.

"You've encountered the intruder?" Mello asked, walking me forward and gesturing to Aleckai's freely bleeding gashes.

"Intruders. Plural. I counted a team of six. I took down two, but they killed three of ours."

Mello let loose a string of dirty words, and I looked up at him worriedly.

"Any idea what they're after?" She asked, looking me over once.

"I know exactly what they're here for, and they have a snowball's chance in Hell of walking out of my base with him."

I looked sharply up at Mello, and pulled away from him. His eyes widened as he realized his mistake.

"These people are after ME?" I said, raising my voice slightly.

He slapped a hand over my mouth and brought his lips to my ear.

"Matt, you need to calm down. Panic from you is what they want. I need you complacent as possible, because I assure you; they are not here to play."

I shivered and looked up at him. "He sent them, didn't he? Fuck! Why can't he leave me alone?"

Mello sighed and picked me up to carry me bridal-style. "You're going to bust your stitches if you don't calm down. Didn't I tell you Jude wouldn't ever touch you again?"

I gave him a frantic look, and squeezed my eyes shut. "I don't wanna go back, Mels." I whispered, the memories flashing before my eyes.

He opened his mouth to say something, but brought his gun up and fired at something behind Aleckai, setting me down to take evasive action.

Suddenly, the lights went out, and I gripped the gun Mello gave me.

Damned if I wasn't going to do something about this.

-Mello's POV-

I watched as two figures melted out of the shadows, my eyes adjusting to the bad backup lighting.

I felt for Matt, and sighed as he backed up into my hand.

Slipping a protective arm around his waist, I held my breath, waiting for their next move.

Aleckai roared in pain, and I winced as there was the sound of a body hitting the floor.

"Forgive me, Comrade." I murmured, pulling Matt back the other way and sprinting down the hallway.

I was royally pissed. The nerve of this fucking guy…I shook my head to clear it. Focus.

Matt was out of breath, and was slowing down. Judging from the blood leaking from his shirt, he'd busted his stitches open.

I scooped him up and kept running.

I could hear the sounds of pursuit, soft as they were.

Matt keened softly, holding his middle, and I made a sharp left when I heard the crack of a gunshot.

I needed a plan fast. Otherwise, we were fucked.

More gunfire. This time, I've been shot.

Once in the leg.

Twice in the back.

Another two in the chest.

I keep running

and will

the pain

away.

I am numb.

I hear Matt screaming my name.

I can't answer him.

Can't.

Answer.

Him.

I fall.

-Matt's POV-

"MELLO!" I scream, crawling over to him.

He looks over to me lazily.

His blue eyes, usually so like stars, are dull.

"Mello, my Mello, PLEASE get up!" I told him desperately, and he gave me a lopsided smile.

"Just...just need a nap, Mattie. So tired."

I held his head in my lap and stroke his hair softly, my tears hitting his cheeks and forehead.

He made a face and touched my bloodsoaked shirt.

Suddenly, it was like cold water had been poured on him.

"Shit, Matt, get up!" He crawled to his feet, wincing.

I could see the bloodstains from the bullet wounds as he yanked me to my feet.

His face was pale, sweaty.

Mello had lost too much blood to be fighting.

I gripped the gun he'd given me earlier shakily, watching the shadows flash over my head.

He curled an arm around my waist, and leaned on me, his face in my neck.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered.

My only response was to lace my fingers with his.

I waited for them to come, and when they did, i shot until there were no bullets left.

Only one fell.

The other three surrounded us, and I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Mihael Keehl. This is a search and seizure of property. My master, Jude James, apologizes for any misunderstanding.

If you cooperate, he will ensure the full replacement of any damages to your base."

Mello growled low in his throat. "Matt is NOT your property."

I shivered slightly, and he drew calming circles on my lower back.

One of the three stepped forward.

"Now, we can do this easy, or we can do this REAL easy. Give us the little bitch, and we'll let you go. Otherwise..."

He gripped his automatic machine gun and chuckled.

Mello reached for something, then threw whatever it was he was looking for.

The previous speaker was now dead on the floor with a knife in his brain.

"Two against two seems more fair, now doesn't it?"

The tallest one put their head in their hand and sighed.

"Mello, that was your last weapon. Both of you are injured. I really do hate to state the obvious with another dead body."

I squeezed Mello's hand. "I'll go." I whispered. "Just please don't hurt him."

"No you won't." Mello said, raising his voice a little and holding me closer.

I gave him the smallest of kisses.

"Mello, it's the only way to make sure we both live a little longer." I whispered, turning in his arms and cradling his face.

"He'll do worse than kill you."

I smiled. "There's nothing he can do that i can't get away from. There's a little corner of my mind reserved for just you and I. I'll just go there until you come for me."

Mello gave a soft, broken, laugh.

"I'll be with you soon, Mattie." He whispered, letting go of me.

Without Mello's arms around me, I felt weaker. Like anything could take me.  
It was the worst feeling in the world.

"Matt, truly, I hate to do this to you. I've been slave to Jude many a year.  
But if you trust that Mello can come get you, it will be better if we take  
you back, if only for a little while. I've seen what he does to people,  
though. I'm not sure how easy it will be to escape this time." The tallest  
shadow said remorsefully.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, holding out my wrists. "Just fucking do it."

The man sighed, and bound me with rope.

"Remnas, how many men does it take to bring back the prize?" The second shadow said, picking at the point of his knife.

"Agamemnon, are you really going to do this here?"

The second man loomed. "You're damn right I'm doing this here."

"Mello, if you can take care of this one man, I can do everything in my power to make  
sure Matt isn't too badly injured."

I heard Mello growl deeply in his throat, and I saw him limp over to the man he'd killed earlier.  
He wrenched out his hunting knife. "Go." He said to Remnas. He didn't look at me.

Agamemnon laughed. "A weak, cowardly, attempt on your part. Sending a dying man against _me?"_

"Who said I was dying?" The smaller man cried out as Mello stabbed him three times in the back.  
I watched as Agamemnon threw a liquid substance in his face, then shakily pulled out a box of matches.

Remnas pulled me away, covering my eyes. "Don't look, Matt. Just know that Mello will be-"

There was a bloodcurdling roar of agony, and I tore away from him. "MELLO!"

My love was on fire.

"Come ON, Matt! He'll be fine!"

No, no, no. Mello was dying.  
Remnas jerked me out the door and into the cool night air, and I kicked at him, screaming.  
Beat me, rape me, torture me, kill me.

Just please let my Mello live.

-Mello's POV-

Agamemnon laughed maniacally, and staggered back into the ground.  
I imagined I must have looked like God-sent hell with half my face, neck, and torso on fire, and holding a sixteen-inch knife. Sure, it hurt like a crying, bleeding, bitch, but I was determined.  
Honestly, I didn't know what else to do.  
Matt was gone.

"C'mon, Mello! KILL ME!"

I circled him, deliberately making it slow.

"Do you know what my boss is gonna do to Matt?" He hissed, blood trickling out of the corners of his mouth.

I stopped.

"Well, first, James is gonna pound that kid into a pulp. Some serious fucking torture. Whips, chains, corkscrews, you name it. Then, he's gonna fuck him so hard his sweet little ass bleeds for days. Then, another beating that will end in the little bitch's **death."**

Something inside of me snapped, and I went animalistic.

-Time skip: 90 minutes, random mobster/medic POV-

It was an hour and a half before we finally found the boss.  
He was in a bad way.  
Multiple lacerations, at least five gunshot wounds,  
and a large, three-degree burn starting at his temple  
and ending around his navel.  
We had to induce him into a chemical sleep.  
When we did find him, the boss was straddling a  
long dead body-we couldn't tell if it was male or female-  
and stabbing methodically, screaming obscenities and  
desperately trying not to cry.  
The person, whoever they were, was unintelligible.  
Boss had fucked them up so badly, we couldn't distinguish  
gender, much less a face.

-Mello's POV-

There were no thoughts.  
There were no feelings.  
I didn't know where I was.  
I didn't know who the blurred faces were.  
The drugs took care of that.

The storm outside wrought its fury as if it were Mello's own.

A/N: And so, to end on a happy note, I love my readers. I know you so vigorously hate me right now, but the suspense and terribleness makes me a happy panda. Gore is my specialty.

Axel: ….O.o Scary panda.

Me: *evil grin*

And so! I am tired. Good night, babies. I will update ASAP, this I swear!


	6. Loss and Emptiness

A/N: Shoot me, stab me, use my brayns in a soup, whatever. Just read and review, lovelies.  
I know it's been hella long…but you know you SECRETLY love the way I procrastinate. It probably doesn't help that I rewrote this four different times. But you know. NBD. Just the best for my beyootiful readers.

Axel: You never call me beyootiful.

Me: It goes without saying, love.

Axel: O/O

And so! I'ma let Itachi disclaim.

Itachi: *is wearing only a pair of unicorn panties and a choke collar* G-Greendaylegacy does not own D-Death Note…wahhh!

Me: Shaddup slave! NAO. ONTO THE ANGST.

Chapter 6: Loss and Emptiness

I sat stiffly in my chair, giving a soft hiss as my new burn throbbed achingly.  
I cursed, and knocked back another shot of vodka.

"Hell." I murmured, rubbing my temples and typing quickly.

This did not bode well.  
It probably didn't help that I hadn't slept since I woke from the chemically induced coma I'd been in for three days.  
Three days since Matt had been taken from me.  
I'd barely eaten anything except chocolate.  
My men were worried about me.  
I wasn't.

Truly, I seemed to be obsessed.  
That wasn't the case.  
I like to think of it as determination.

For days I'd been hacking into Jude's system, memorizing the schematics and layout of his main base.  
I knew I wasn't making this work by myself.  
Most of the people who owed me favors were the last people I wanted to see right now.  
But there was no way around it.

He was never gonna let me live this one down.

I picked up my cell, and dialed a number I hadn't called in years.

"Mihael Keehl." A cool, detached voice mused.

"Nate River." I growled. "I'm cashing in on that favor you owe me."

Near hummed slightly. "Well? How did you…fuck up this time?"

I fisted my hair.  
If I lived through this, I was gonna kill him.

"I didn't _fuck up, _Near. Things _happened_ that were beyond my control."

His musical chuckles issued from the earpiece.

"Of course not. Please elaborate upon your deplorable situation."

If this were for anyone else but Matt I'd have hung up on him.

"I am in a tight situation with the opposing Russian mob. Particularly the boss."

"And?"

"He took Matt down to his main base and is doing God knows what with him. Matt had already told me about his previous experiences with Jude, and not a single bit of it is anything good. My base was infiltrated at a bad time, and Matt was taken." I bit my knuckle to calm myself down.

Near was silent for a moment. "And you think I can help?"

I huffed, irritated. "I KNOW you can help. God, Near, I'm going crazy here. For all I know, Matt could be dead."

His sigh rattled the phone. "I know how you feel." He said quietly.

I sobered up, if only a little. "When's the last time you heard from L?"

"Ten months ago. He was halfway across the world. But that is inconsequential. We know where Matt is. I'm in North Korea right now. On my way to you, I'll get started on some kind of plan. I'll be less than three days."

I breathed out a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, Near. If I had any idea…"

"If I can't find him anywhere there is no way in hell you could." Near said, matter-of-factly.

I kneaded a knot in my shoulder carefully.

"I know."

His voice was shaky, which was a little out of character for him.

"I'm worried about him. Usually it's only a few months in between contact. It's never been this long."

"I'm sure he has a good reason for it." I said, sweeping bottles and other trash into the bin.

My desk looked like hell.  
I went about cleaning up a little as Near ranted.

"He better have a damn good reason! I have an ulcer because of him! He's giving me fucking wrinkles, and I'm twenty-three!"

I'd never tell Near this, but I enjoyed that we could have a casual, care-free conversation without arguing or fighting.

"You're not getting wrinkles. L will come back, and everything will be fine." I said, walking into the bathroom.

"He's going to be the death of me." Near said, sighing.

I shook my head. "Listen, just hurry up and get your ass over here. I'm not sure how much longer I can take this…this being alone...without him."

"It's hard, isn't it?" He murmured.

I leaned my forehead against the door frame and closed my eyes.

"Yeah. Way too damn hard."

"Don't worry. I'll be there soon."

"Bye."

"Likewise."

I dropped my phone on the cabinet and got undressed for a shower.  
I turned the water on, and stepped inside, letting the water hit my sore shoulders.  
I rested my head against the shower wall.

"Matt." I whispered softly, giving a low whine as the scalding water hit my burn. "I'm coming."

-Matt's POV-

It was dark, wet, and terrifying.  
By terrifying I mean that it was so dark I couldn't see if someone was going to come ass-fuck me out of nowhere.  
At first, I tried to fight.  
Mello was the only one allowed to touch me.  
Then, after a while, my spirit broke.

I cried for him all the time.  
I didn't even know if my Mello was dead or not.  
I would pretend it was him touching me, and that made it a little more bearable than it was before.  
Not better, necessarily.  
Just bearable. 

I was so tired.  
Everything hurt.  
I was beat on a daily basis.  
Whips, chains, fire, needles.  
I'd seen it, lived it all.

My sobs echoed off the walls of the cellar I currently resided in.  
My Mello, oh God, I'm so sorry.  
This is all my fault.  
I shouldn't have come back to you.

The door opened, and someone descended.  
I wasn't even sure if it was just Jude raping me anymore, but I definitely knew when it WAS him.

It was the sound of his heavy breathing, the way he dragged his leg.  
The way he'd bite into my shoulder just before he shoved into me.

I cried out.  
Jude always tried to find a way to bring me the most pain.  
He always succeeded.

No, _no._  
I want Mello, I just want my Mello.

"You're worthless, nobody will ever want a washed out, disgusting, cum whore like you." Jude told me.

"Disgusting." I echoed softly, wondering how in the hell Mello could have could have ever stood touching me.

Finally, he finished.  
He backhanded me once before making his exit.

I keened brokenheartedly, my wrists bloody from being yanked around.

I was cold.  
I was tired.  
I just wanted to curl up and die.

I was a slut. Disgusting.

Mello would never want me again.

-Near's POV-

I got off the plane, and Mello was waiting for me, looking very much the part of a Russian mob boss in his all-leather getup.

"Mello." I said, walking over to him.

He nodded to me. "Near."

He'd taken off his sunglasses, and I could see his eyes.  
They were that of a tortured man.  
Dark shadows.  
Love.  
Loss.  
And a little bit crazy.

I knew exactly what he felt, because...i felt it just as bad as he did.  
If not worse.

"Are you ready for this shit?" He said as we walked to the waiting car.

"I'm always up for an adventure, Mello. Especially when it involves killing stupid people."

He grinned, and it was not his normal, dark Mihael Keehl smirk.

It was murderous, mixed with a hint of insanity.

It was then that I realized that this was not a passing whim for him.  
Matt was the reason for his existence.

A/N: Well? Did I pay up, or did I pay up? Anyway, review, and I will try to post ASAP. (I know I say that, but really. I effing love you all.)

Axel: She drank almost two gallons of green tea. And strangled several plot bunnies. It was horrid.

Me: Pffft. Goodnight babies!


	7. No Chance of Redemption

A/N: So, I know it's been forever. Again, you can torture me with your life-saving reviews. I adore them, and you guys are truly the shit. So. This chapter will reveal the bigger plot devices in the story, because, contraire to the popular opinion, Jude is not the worst bitch out there. And, I'm just gonna put this up here, because I really don't have time to explain it in the chapter. Jude has not only been raping the holy hell out of Matt, he's also been making our quaint little cutiepie hack into his rivals systems, and has been making him steal information. Le gasp! Also, I don't know if I'll ever get around to actually SAYING it in the story, but Matt will have been contained for thirty-seven days. So, dear readers, continue doing what you do best. Any and all reviews make me happy. I don't care if you send me a huge FUCK YOU; it still tickles my whiskers to know you took the time to press that button.

Chapter 7: No Chance of Redemption

I'd been sleeping when they came.  
I cursed myself for it.  
Reminded myself that I'd only fall asleep when necessary.  
The nightmares had enforced that, for a while.  
Then I'd went into a sort of coma, hanging from my arms in that cold, dank cellar.  
Yes, they came.  
They'd given me a headache.  
No room for their noise in the expanse of my skull.

"Son? Are you alright?"

"Jesus, he looks like he's been mauled by a bear."

"It smells like blood and old sex in here."

"What's a kid like this doing in an abandoned building?"

My eyes opened a little, and I gasped as the lights nearly made me pass out.  
Three police officers peered curiously back at me, like I was some kind of interesting sideshow they'd come across.  
One was tall, with a bushy walrus moustache.  
The second looked like a walking potato, his face shapeless and brown.  
The third was wiry, built like a telephone pole.

Coughing wretchedly, I shied away from the hands that undid the chains.  
As soon as I was released, I fell to the ground, blood rushing painfully back into my arms.

I couldn't move.  
My legs would not work.  
My arms would not work.

The potato officer picked me up, and I whined in pain.  
I also couldn't help but shake with fear.  
Just a little bit.

We left the building.  
Jude's building.  
The empty, abandoned building that looked like no one had inhabited it in at least six months.

I passed out.

-Mello's POV-

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WASN'T AT THE WAREHOUSE?" I roared, throwing a hunting knife in Near's general direction.

He dodged it idly, and flipped through the printed-out schematics of what was supposed to have been Jude James' high-tech hideyhole.  
"I mean that Mail Jeevas was not even within ten miles of this place. Jude must have bought this place exclusively for the detaining of Matt, because there are definitely signs that he was there. His blood was all over the floor. There were chains hanging from the ceiling with bits of his skin hanging off them."

That didn't exactly make me want to eat a cake of rainbows and smiles.

"Well? Did you figure out anything about his whereabouts?" I sat back in my chair and took a deep drink of straight rum.

Near sighed and sat in the chair in front of my desk.

"Yes I did, Mr. Impatient-Pants."

I almost threw the bottle at him.

"He's in a holding cell at the police station in the nearest major city."

I threw the bottle at him.

He caught it and took a swig.

"Thing is, he's being detained for illegal hacking and destruction of property, with a little side of copyright theft." Near shuddered at the way the alcohol burned, and took another drink.

"There is no way in hell I can get him out of this one, Mello. This is above me. Apparently, Matt told the officers that Jude made him hack into this place...what was it?" He pulled out a little slip of paper and read it aloud. "Beyond Industries. This owner, he's not happy about this. The police think Matt's lying. Jude's nowhere to be found."

I let loose a string of the dirtiest curses I knew.

"Is there anyone you can call?" I murmured, standing and yanking my hunting knife out of the wall.

"Like I said before, I don't know where L is." Near said, looking out the window, his voice hollow.

I was at a loss.  
I didn't know what to do anymore.  
Is this what it felt like when you've got everything, and then the one thing that means anything to you is ripped way?  
Must be.

-? POV-

I stood next to my twin with my hands in my pockets as he raved and ranted.

"Six million dollars down the drain! Six _million!_ Judy, bring me someone to mutilate later."

My brother's attendant nodded quickly. "Yes Mr. Ryuzaki."

She exited briskly, ignoring the things thrown at the walls around her.

I looked my twin up and down as he threw his tantrum.  
He was dressed in a blue pinstriped suit, with his black, spiky hair slicked back.  
A cigarette hung from between his lips.

"Rue. Beyond. Whatever you're calling yourself these days. Why are you upset over money? Why are you wearing civilized clothing? This is so unlike you, brother."

Not that I cared.  
I only came back to Russia because I knew…I knew someone important was here.  
My idiotic, cannibalistic brother was not that person.  
He was wasting my time.

"Well, _Lawliet,_ as a respectable businessman, it is my duty to dress nicely. My only regret is that Judy says I can't eat strawberry jam while wearing these monkey suits. Which is all the time. I think I'll eat her soon. I do what I want." Beyond took a drag off his cigarette.

"What is it that you require of me? I am not without responsibility myself." _I have to see Near, you stupid fucker. But you're probably doing this just to piss me off. You never liked him._

"Well, dear brother, the _reason _I am asking you to help me is because this….this little redheaded _child_ has been hacking into my systems, deleting and stealing things. I have no idea who it is. His name, they gave it to me..it was…" Beyond thought deeply, his forehead wrinkling. "Matt. Yes, Matt."

He began mumbling to himself again.

"BEYOND."

"Oh! Oh, I need you to see what you can figure out about his boy. You have an appointment with him at the police station in fifteen minutes."

I could have cheerfully punched him in the nose.  
The police station was halfway across town.

"Bye then." Beyond mumbled, half to me, and half to himself.

He wandered to the back of his office, having completely forgotten me already.

…

I made it to the police station, and showed security my I.D.

"Please go right on in, Mr. Ryuzaki." The guard said, opening the door to the microphone room for me.

Through the mirror I could see a petite boy about the age of nineteen.  
Very battered.  
He looked like he'd been run over by a truck a few times.

"Hello?" I said into the microphone.

The boy jumped, shaking.  
His red hair hid his eyes.

I looked down at the name on the page.

"Mr. Jeevas? My name is L. I'm here to help you."

A/N: Well, how did you like it? I'm a badass, I know. R&R please!


	8. It's Not Even Over

A/N: So…you can bend me over and spank me. My body is ready. I deserve it. I know it's been forever. ANYWAY. Now that it's summer, and I can update a bit faster, we're just all good in the hood. I must have reviews. Must. Have. Them. So, tell me what you think, silent readers. I adore what's inside your head! (BRAINS.) I should warn you. In this chapter, Beyond will take a nom out of someone. So, the faint of heart/stomach, don't read the last perspective.

Axel: I told you she was a zombie.

Disclaimer: I do not own. :(

Chapter 8: It's Not Even Over

I fiddled with the sleeve of my shirt anxiously.  
I didn't like this place.  
Too white.  
Too clean.  
Sure, I was tired, but I would not allow myself to sleep.

See where that got me.

My eyes flickered up to the two-way mirror.  
The man behind the glass was smart.  
Maybe even smarter than Mello.

I didn't want to do this anymore.

"Matt?" My head snapped up.

That was a familiar voice.

Still, I huddled into myself as the door opened to reveal a certain white-haired individual.  
What was _Near _doing here?

"Good god, Matt. I've been chasing you for months." He lilted gently, walking over to me.

I hugged my knees and shied away from his hand when he tried to touch me.

"I'm going to take you to Mello now."

Everything kind of just happened at once.  
I stood up and sat down about three different times before just kind of collapsing onto the table.

Mello was _alive?_

Dear sweet Jesus Christ.

My eyes were wide as I bit my lip.  
Stupid tears.

Near held his hand out.

"C'mon Mattie." He murmured soothingly. "Mello's been waiting."

I stood shakily, and took his hand.

How was I being let go?

Wasn't I being charged for some computer hacking shit?

Near led me out of the holding room, and I winced at the sudden harsh light.  
There was a dark-haired man that fell into step next to us.

He slipped his hand into Near's free one, and gave it a little squeeze.

"C'mon, Matt. He's waiting outside."

Now, I was straining to sprint out of the police station.  
I needed to see my Mello _now._  
I opened the door, and my heart stopped.

-Mello's POV-

Oh my god.  
As soon as I saw that mop of red hair, I might as well have suffocated him with my hug.

"OhgodbabyI'msosorry." I moaned into Matt's neck, kissing anything and everything within reach.

He was so tiny.  
Frail.  
Breakable.  
He ran his fingers down the scar on my face, eyes wide.  
He buried his face in my chest and began sobbing.

I picked him up in my arms and cuddled him.

"I've got you now, Mattie. I'll never ever let you go again." I whispered, kissing him gently.

I slid into the waiting car, still with my arms around him.  
Matt looked up at me, and my heart broke when I saw all the pain in his eyes.

His breath was shaky as I cradled his face in my hands.

"Talk to me, baby." I whispered softly, kissing the tip of his nose.

"I…I love y-you." He rasped terribly.

I knew that kind of rasp.  
It came from nonstop screaming.

If I hadn't been so worried about Matt, I would have been livid.

"I love you more. God, Mattie. I love you so much." I held him closer and rubbed his back soothingly.

He finally cried himself to sleep in my arms, and even after his face relaxed, he clung to me like I was going to disappear.

When I got back to the base, I carried Matt back to _our_ room.  
Laid him back on _our_ bed.  
I wrapped my arms around his waist and let him melt into my chest.

It felt so good to just be touching him again.

-Near's POV-

"You have a shitton of explaining to do, Lawliet." I growled, crossing my arms and cocking my hip.

L smirked and pushed me up against the wall.

"No! Stoppit! I'm mad at you!" I squeaked, tilting my head back as he began to hungrily kiss and suck at my throat.

"Later, please? I love you, and I've missed you so much." He murmured huskily, looking at me with those puppy dog eyes that I just could NOT resist.

"I think you're full of poo." I grumbled, gasping a little as he kissed me again.

L chuckled and nuzzled my cheekbones. "You're beautiful, Nate." He whispered.

I blushed, and tried not to smile at that.

"You're biased, you know. I am in no way beautiful, as you so aptly put it." I grumped.

He snorted. "Right."

He picked me up and carried me to my room.  
We barely made it inside before L began shucking my clothes like an animal.

God, I missed this so much.  
Missed _him._

"I love you too." I mumbled shyly, chewing my lip and kissing the tip of L's nose.

He gave a brilliant smile.

Then, he made love to me.

-Matt's POV-

The first thing that crossed my mind when I woke up was fear.  
I didn't know where I was.

Then, I blinked a few times, and realized that I was in some very warm and familiar arms.

Mello.

His blue eyes were all fuzzy with sleep; something so beautiful I thought it could be the eighth wonder of the earth.

"Hi beautiful." He murmured, caressing the side of my face gently.

I blushed and kissed his palm, causing his dimples to show.

"How're you feeling?"

I pressed my face up into his chest.

"Like hammered shit." My voice cracked like glass.

We lay there in silence.  
It was anything but awkward.  
I just listened to his heartbeat while he ran his fingers through my hair.  
It was beautiful.

For the first time in almost two months, I felt safe again.

I could breathe.  
I could think.  
I could _sleep._

Mello ensured all of that.

-? POV-

"You mean that he's just _gone?_ Who the fuck let him out of that police station!" I growled, my nails carving bloody half-crescents in my palms.

Judy sighed and poked at her iPad.  
She frowned.

"Mr. Ryuzaki…it says here that _you _authorized it."

The glass in my hand broke, shredding the skin of my palm and causing blood to seep onto the papers on my desk. 

Ah, well.  
I guess it was fun while it lasted.  
Being civilized, I mean.

I stood delicately, picking bits of glass from my lap and tossing them carelessly to the floor.

"Mr. Ryuzaki?" Judy questioned lightly.

She'd always been so deliciously pretty.  
Long, blonde hair.  
Big blue eyes.

Luscious skin.

I pulled her into me.

She was shaking.

So….delicate.

I gave a soft moan before sinking my teeth into her shoulder and tearing off some of that pretty skin.

A/N: Wail! That was nice, no? Enjoy this new chapter. Bask in its glory. Like it. Love it. Molest it with reviews. G'night! 3


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